rissy stories

So, I decided that I want to continue trying new things with this blog…so I’m going to attempt to give you a glimpse of life from my kitten’s (Sootie’s) perspective. It’s another creative nonfiction piece, and I thought of this idea while I was playing with him the other day.

 He’s had a pretty exciting life so far – he’s already lived in 3 different places and in 2 states (my mother calls him the jet-set kitty). He’s befriended many of the cats that he’s come across, so, I’m going to give this a try and I don’t think it’ll be boring.

There’s also going to be song and movie references/puns (especially towards the end) – a desperate attempt to make this funnier. 

This is going to be pretty difficult to accomplish overall though, given that I’m not exactly great at writing humorously and I don’t exactly know what cats do or do not know. As a result, my grammar will not be on point (on purpose).

If you guys actually enjoy this, make sure you comment and let me know because I have 3 other cats that I can do this with if I get positive feedback – and obviously all of them will have different writing styles and voices because every cat is different.

Either way, enjoy!

*If my cat spoke English…

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Dear Fur-less Fwiends,

Haaaiiiii!

My pale, two-legged, body-hairless creature loves to press on these little square buttons (with letters on them) that I’m currently pressing – I think she calls this “typing” or “writing,” or whatever.

But imma call it: “pushing-her-buttons.”

Either way, she makes it look A LOT easier than it actually is, believe me.

I think it’s because she doesn’t have paws like I do – her paws have five elongated stick-like-looking things that sprout out of her main paw. I think she calls them “fingers,” but call them whatever you want – fact is that they’re weird. 

They are good for back-scratching though.

See?

But what’s even weirder is that sometimes she’s more consumed with this button-pushing machine with a moving-picture-box than she is with me, which is insane, am I right?

She even gets mad at me when I try to sleep on it… but it gets sooo warm, how can I not? 

So, I figured I’d try to actually use it and see what all the hype is about.

Here are the five main topics of my adventures so far:

1. The Shelter.
2. The Shoebox (or Dorm Room.) (Experiencing my three “humans.”)
3. My Fun House. (or “Human’s” “Aunt’s” House) (Experiencing new “humans” and the cats: Nitro, Anubis, Binx, & Mocha)
4. My Crowded House (or “Human’s” “Grandparents’” House.) (Experiencing new “humans” and the cats: Gozer, Zuulie, and Mufasa).

*This narration will also contain “human” references that I don’t necessarily understand, but I repeat what I hear because I can get away with it.

This is me!! Aren’t I cute? I think I’m cute.

 ————————————————————————

1. The Shelter

I’m almost a year old now (9 months), but my life really started when I was 4 months old. I was a baby when I was first dropped off at a shelter with TONS of other cats inside, and I was stuck in a cage with another grey kitten for a while.

She was a female and slightly smaller than me, so I really loved to bug her – especially when she was sleeping.

But one cold day, right as I was about to take a nap, a pale creature with long, yellow hair on the top of its head walked into my room – along with another taller, pale creature with short brown hair on its head and face. They looked like this:

I think they’re called “humans,” but either way, you’re all pretty ugly creatures. 1. You walk on your back legs and have useless front limbs. 2. Also, your teeth aren’t sharp, which is impractical – do you even bite ever? 3. And you’re practically hairless – you always look freezing, it’s just gross.

Anyways, the yellow-haired creature looked at me first and smiled. I could tell it was a female creature from the length of the hair as well as the demeanor, and I cooed at her. I also stood up, flattening myself against the cage as she walked over and used her “fingers” and paw to pet my black fur through the cage.

Despite the fact that I don’t find these creatures to be attractive – I LOVE pale-creature contact – they smile, talk with the weirdest high-pitched noises, and compliment me as they “pet” me. It’s hilarious! 

I continued to coo, hoping that my cuteness would encourage her to open the cage and let me out. The pale brown-haired creature was across the room, visiting with another cat, but came over to see me after a few minutes.

That’s when I REALLY put on a show for them. I felt like singing:

“If you love me let me goooooooooo…”

I started jumping from cage wall to cage wall with my claws and playing with the lanyard the yellow-haired one kept dangling in front of my face. I tried to appear extra-adorable (which isn’t difficult, believe me), even though I kept waking up the grey kitten that was trying to sleep. The yellow-haired creature then turned to the brown-haired one and said:

“I think I want this one.”

Now, first of all, I just want to say that “humans” are not licensed to just PICK one of us. We are too valuable and smart just to be randomly handed off like a piece of paper or something.

Newsflash – the smarter creature (of course, being ME) is prioritized over the less-smarter creature (of course, being the “human”) – so, by default, cats pick humans, not the other way around.

First of all, I may not have opposable thumbs, but I can scratch the s*** out of anyone I don’t want to be around. And you’d be surprised how quickly “humans” respond to this. They usually say:

“Holy s***, okay, nope, never mind,” or “Oookaaaay, let’s just keep looking around.”

Thankfully though, I felt okay with these creatures, so I didn’t have to treat them that way.

And secondly, I can understand “pale-creature speak,” even though I can’t actually speak it, so I became excited because I wanted to be let out of the cage soooooooooo badly.

I’m actually sleeping in this picture, but I look like I’m dying inside a cage, so it suffices.

Then the creatures left the room…and my hope was suddenly lost.

My soul wept and I felt abandoned, lost, and angry. I had placed my trust in these creatures, and they just left me stranded inside of a cage they knew I so desperately wanted out of. I never wanted to trust or love again…

“Hello darkness, my old friend…I’ve come to talk with you again.”

…But then they returned after a short time, and everything was cool.

The yellow-haired one was now looking nervous and pacing the floor, and the brown-haired one was now the one playing with me.

I could sense the anxiety from a mile away, and the brown-haired one kept trying to calm the yellow-haired one down because she kept saying things like:

“If she doesn’t call us in the next twenty minutes, we’ll have to wait two more days to take him home, and he may be gone by then because we can’t put him on hold until we have permission to let him live inside my dorm room.”

The brown-haired one kept telling her that: “it was going to be okay” and “she’d call” (whoever she was…) and he continued playing with me as the yellow-haired one paced around the room.

And after another short time, one of the pale-creature females who brought me my food every day came into the room saying that she’d gotten “the call.”

I’d like to assume that the call consisted of some type of goddess telling the creatures that kept me here that the creatures trying to take me out were indeed blessed enough to live in my presence.

The yellow-haired creature finally relaxed as the other female began to open my cage. Again, I felt like singing:

“All you sinners stand up – sing hallelujah.”

That’s when I really started to jump all over the place – and the creatures laughed at me.

The brown-haired one stuck me inside a tan, flying box with holes in the sides and a caged door, locking me in. However, there was a movable, comfortable, round, padded bed thingy in there that had another female cat’s scent on it.

This normally would bother me, but it felt extremely comfortable to sleep in:

 

Then suddenly, the box flew outside – and it was so cold that the clouds were literally falling from the sky and settling onto the ground to find some warmth, even though there wasn’t much warmth down there either.

I swear, I wouldn’t make this s*** up, it actually happened.

The pale-creatures continued to talk amongst themselves as if everything was completely normal as the box flew me to a huge, black machine with round things on the bottom (I guess to move it?), walls that open, and see-through glass.

I think the pale-creatures call it a “car” – again, everything they name sounds weird. I’d probably call it a “glorified, rolling box.” See, it rolls off the tongue and it’s practical.

My flying box settled inside the bigger box, and then the creatures sat up front while I sat right behind them. The brown-haired creature turned around and played with me through the cage door while the yellow-haired one focused on moving the big box.

The big box exuded awful sounds that pierced my eardrums – I hated this box.

But it was not long before the big box came to a halt. My flying box took flight once again, and we traveled into another shelter-like structure. Little did I know that I was entering my first home.

It was like a shoebox with little temperature control, but it was better than a cage.

These creatures even had toys for me as well as a cat tree!

This was when I realized that these creatures were keepers.

 ————————————————————————

2. The Shoebox.

So, I adjusted to my new “dark” surroundings:

 And my yellow-haired creature left the room for a long time when I first moved in. So, I had fun with my brown-haired creature until she returned.

I also met a new creature that lived in this space as well – I think my yellow-haired creature called her “a roommate.” Which somewhat sucks looking back on it because I didn’t sign up to live with a creature that I didn’t pick, but it turned out okay in the end.

While I may have temporarily lost one male brown-haired creature that only frequently visited my new home (he didn’t live in it, and then he stopped visiting all together because he apparently “moved to a new country” a month after I arrived)…

… I gained another lovable female brown-haired creature that sang songs, hugged & kissed me daily, and laughed at me. (Thankfully her laugh was contagious, or I would have been offended.)

Anyways, this was my new home, and I loved it. I got to climb on things and speed around the room as much as I wanted. I had toys galore – my favorite would have to be that brown, squeaky, dangling mouse toy in some of my pictures.

My food and water bowls were always full, my bathroom was always clean, and I had tons of comfortable spaces to sleep in. In fact…my favorite places were on top of my yellow-haired creature’s desk, my brown-haired creature’s bags, and in my bed that sat next to the window.

Oh, and my yellow-haired “human” changed my name from “Midnight” to “Sootie” (whatever that means).

My female brown-haired creature called me “The Derpy Kitten” (again, whatever that means – it sounds weird), while my brown-haired creature called me “The Fuzz Butt” (now, don’t try to deny that pale/body-hairless creatures such as yourselves don’t have fuzz on your butts too, because I know you do!).

And during the time that I lived here – I learned many things about the humans I chose as well.

My female brown-haired creature loved to sleep until the afternoon on most days, disappear for the rest of the day, come back home late at night, and stay awake until really late at night.

But the period between when she came home and then fell asleep was when I spent my quality time with her because my other “human” fell asleep rather early.

 I mentioned before that the male brown-haired creature did not live in my home, but he did visit almost daily up until he went away. (Now I sometimes get to see and hear him through this picture-box on the button-pressing machine).

I could tell that he and my yellow-haired creature were friends like my yellow-haired creature and my female brown-haired creature – and we would also keep my yellow-haired creature company since the female brown-haired creature wasn’t always home when we all were.

And lastly, my main “human” – the yellow-haired creature – woke up UNGODLY early sometimes, left & came back home periodically throughout the day, fell asleep somewhat early, but then would stay up and sleep in every once and a while, almost as much as my female brown-haired creature did.

But she was home more often than the brown-haired creature, so I figured that’s why she was the one who takes care of me the most.

She fed me, took me on walks outside, and played with me – and we even developed a morning routine. 

Whenever my “human” gets out of bed – I’m always right by her side. I’ll coo over and over to say “GOOD MORNING!” and I won’t leave her alone until she gives me a proper petting.

My requirements: She must scratch my upper back and chest thoroughly. Then she must use her “human” stick-like claws to scratch my entire back, as well as thoroughly pet it. Then she must scratch my cheeks as well as pet my entire head – practically rubbing my face off with her paws. And this must occur for at least five minutes before I let her go on with her day. 

She doesn’t complain though – she loves me. That’s how I know I’ve trained her well.

 The only downside to this environment was one weird/scary thing that would happen every once and a while – it happened several times while I lived there.

All of a sudden, this painfully loud, high-pitched BEEEEEEEEP would practically shatter my eardrums, and it would happen every few seconds while a bright white light flashes.

The first time I heard it, I was like: “Oh god, what even is that?!”

And this pattern would last for several minutes, and the pale-creatures would groan and then run around the room frantically, trying to grab me as I also ran around in a failed attempt to get away from the sound.

They would also say things like: “Who the hell keeps setting off the fire alarm?” (Whatever that means).

They would always drag me outside once the annoying sound started, and I hated that. There would be this enormous crowd of pale-creatures whom I’ve never met – too many strange sounds, faces, and smells – it was pure anarchy at its finest.

“All around me are familiar faces…”

But I eventually learned that if I hid underneath the beds, they get annoyed with me enough to just leave me in the room.

To this day, I still have no idea what that entire thing was about. But I do have a few guesses.

1. The annoying sound occasionally announced a pale-creature meeting outside in which they could all meet and pet me.
2. The pale-creatures thought that it was a good idea to test my hearing.
3. Or something was happening inside that warranted an evacuation…but honestly, what are the odds that this would be the real reason?

I’ll tell you the odds – None. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Sorry, the odds are not in your favor.

Another scary thing that would occur was this weird place that I went to on occasion. It’s a horrible, weird, and smelly place where “Needle Woman” resides.

Don’t even get me STARTED on “Needle Woman.”

She is this scary pale-creature with brown hair, weird spectacle-looking things over her eyes, and she wears a large, white coat. My yellow-haired creature and male brown-haired creature took me to see her twice while I lived in the shoebox.

They locked me inside this tiny area that smelt of various animals, “Needle Woman” examined me thoroughly, and stuck sharp things inside of me (that I later discovered were called “needles.” They forced a big round, disgusting-tasting thing down my throat and almost choked me to death (They said that it would protect me from the “worms” – whatever that means). And they stretched out my ears – dropping liquid inside of them – causing the mites I was hosting in my ears to go wild (as if they weren’t already going wild and causing me misery). It was absolute hell, and I hope to never return there again.

Overall though, this place holds a lot of special memories for me and I’ll cherish them forever.

But GOD was I glad when we finally moved out of that dump.

————————————————————————–

3. The Fun House.

I got my first taste of the real outside “human” world for one week while my yellow-haired creature and I still lived inside the shoebox – but little did I know that I’d eventually get to move there!!!!!

I think my “human” called it “Spring Break” or something, but we visited this weird world for a week before moving back into the shoebox for a few more months. But the distance between the two is LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.

I scratched my “human” in the process of trying to get her to let me out of my prison:

And during that week, I met all of these other strange, much older pale-creatures who welcomed me with open arms.

Again, I was slightly frustrated because I didn’t pick them, but they were okay.

And after my “human” and I went back to the shoebox, we stayed for awhile until this weird thing happened where my yellow-haired creature and female brown-haired creature moved everything out of the shoebox – along with me, eventually.

They took away my toys and took down my tree – this was my nightmare!

I was somewhat sad to leave, but I was mostly frustrated because I had to say goodbye to my female brown-haired creature, and then I left with someone other than my yellow-haired creature, and the whole thing freaked me the f*** out.

I left with this older freckle-y red-haired creature (who I think my yellow-haired creature called: “mom”), and I spent the next two weeks with her at the fun house & crowded house.

Let’s start with the fun house.

“This used to be a fun house, But now it’s full of evil clowns.”

Sorry, I thought the P!nk song reference was needed, anyways – the fun house is HUGE (compared to the shoebox). It has stairs and a thousand times more toys than I thought felinely possible – and there’s crunchy paper, boxes, and two cat trees.

It’s heaven.

It also contains another shorter, pale, red-haired creature that calls me “Monkey Face” and “The Sootie Mangabie,” as well as four other cats named Binx, Nitro, Anubis, and Mocha.

“All my friends are heathens, take it slow. Wait for them to ask you who you know. Please don’t make any sudden moves, You don’t know the half of the abuse. We don’t deal with outsiders very well. They say newcomers have a certain smell. They have trust issues, not to mention, They say they can smell your intentions.”

…my pale creature loves this weird rhyming song by Twenty One Pilots for some reason, and I thought it fit this moment. Moving on…

At first, I hated all four of them because I was introduced to all of them at once and it was overwhelming. I hissed at them and cried to be let out of the house.

But I got used to them after I realized that they weren’t vicious – and I realized that they’re all okay.

But Nitro – the goofball – is my favorite.

 

His name really fits his personality – he can run faster than any cat I’ve ever known, and his energy is boundless.

He owns the shorter red-haired creature, he’s orange, and about a year and a half older than me. He was my small size not too long ago, so my yellow-haired creature’s “mom” calls him “Squirt” and “Squirticus.”

Which isn’t too bad of a nickname – given that his meow sounds girlish. (But then again, so does mine).

He’s really fun to play with, though. We chased each other everywhere, we popped out and scared each other, we jumped on each other, and we fought without hissing and growling.

Long story short – we’re bros – best friends. Even though I can make friends with anyone.

It’s a full-on bromance – if I had to spend the rest of my life with anyone, it would be him. (Well, and my yellow-haired creature, I guess.) He’s fun, he likes to pounce on everything, he ricochets off of everything whenever he gets spunky, (He ricocheted off of a pale-creature’s butt once while she was sleeping on the couch.) and he’s an attention-hog. (Like meeeeee!)

He’s my soul mate.

And then there’s the king, the big brother, the father, the alpha, the one and only – Anubis.

He’s a black cat (like meeeeee), but he has white specks on his chest and right paw – signs that he’s been blessed. He also owns the shorter red-haired creature, and trust me, this is a cat that you don’t want to mess with. No one ever really tries to play with him – he just watches over everything and everyone. He has eyes and ears everywhere.

I could just tell as soon as I walked through the door that he’s the king of the jungle.

“Won’t you follow me into the jungle? Ain’t no god (Get it? Cuz Anubis – yeah, you got it? Ok.) on my streets, In the heart of the jungle. Follow me into the jungle.”

But he is truly a god – a king.

Why you ask? 

He’s the only cat who’s allowed to go outside. He has an entire room dedicated to his highness. (As well as a car that he likes to sleep in.) He’s much older than the rest of us. He watches over Nitro like a big brother would. And he has one enemy who likes to trespass on his territory and annoy the hell out of him – Binx.

He’s also probably the red-haired pale-creature’s favorite cat.

Whatever he says goes. He never gets yelled at – he can do whatever he wants. He gets to sleep and sit wherever he wants. He only likes to be touched by a pale-creature when permitted – he doesn’t like it when a pale creature pets him without him smelling its paw first.

He also really likes chicken.

I’ve never seen anything like this pale creature obedience towards a cat before. His fur is rough and burly, his eyes glow, his growl is ominous – you really have to revere him.

Aaaaaaaaaaand then there’s Binx – the weirdo.

He owns my yellow-haired creature’s “mom” and he goes by many names. I just call him “Uncle Binx,” my yellow-haired creature calls him “Binxy,” the shorter red-haired creature calls him “Binxifur” and “Hipster Dufus” (because he likes to sit on pale creature’s hips), my yellow-haired creature’s “mom” calls him “Binxy-butt” and “Binxilicious,” and the shorter red-haired pale creature also likes to call him “Fang Boy” because one of his fangs has grown much larger than the other.

I don’t understand how that doesn’t bother him…that would bother the s*** out of me if one fang was larger than the other. 

He’s large like Anubis – but he has girth. His large, soft, squishy belly loves to sway from side to side whenever he runs or walks fast. His fur is also a lot softer than Anubis’s (like mine.) And he also looooooves to sing. (Or hear the sound of his voice, whichever one.)

He also wines like crazy – especially if my yellow-haired creature’s “mom” isn’t around.

 He’s not a huge fan of Nitro and I, but he does like to bother Anubis for some reason. I think he’s used to being the alpha of the house, so he’s the only one who’s actually brave enough to try and harass him. You have to admire his spirit, really – but boy, this cat is stupid.

And lastly, we’ll briefly discuss the old one – Yzma – I-I mean, Mocha. -___-

I can only assume she’s named “Mocha” because she brown – but she’s the only 16-year-old pure bred I know. If she were a pale/hairless creature, I’m sure she’d have wrinkles all over her skin.

And I personally HATE Ragdolls.

 She technically owns my yellow-haired creature, and she’s uuuuuuuuugly.

You could tell that she used to be beautiful –

-But she apparently started pulling out her own fur with her teeth before I met her because of a behavioral problem. So she had to get all of her teeth removed, and now all of her hair is short and stubby.

She also hates EVERYONE, which includes me.

“But you know what they say about me: ‘That girl is a problem.’”

She really is a problem though – she doesn’t know how to use the litter box correctly anymore, she’ll pee and poo right outside of it. She also wines worse than Binx does, her breath STINKS, she’s high-maintenance, she’s skinny/bony as hell (she rarely eats), and she growls ALL THE TIME.

Almost all of the pale creatures hate her except for my yellow-haired creature that thinks: “She just needs to be loved.” And NO I’m not jealous…

She’s just a spoiled b****, that’s all.

Now back to meeee. 

I unfortunately don’t visit the fun house very much at all anymore – so I don’t get to see Anubis or Nitro much and I don’t know why. I would cry at the front door in the crowded house ALL the time for weeks on end, trying to get my pale creature to let me over to the fun house – but she’d never let me.

I think there’s some sort of pale creature fight happening between my yellow-haired creature’s “mom” and the shorter red-haired creature, but I’m not too sure on the details.

But I do know that Yzma left the premises completely (I think my yellow-haired creature said that she moved to her “dad’s” house,) and my yellow-haired creature’s “mom” and Binx have moved over to the crowded house with my yellow-haired creature and I.

A house that I am about to explain.

————————————————————————-

4. The Crowded House.

So, this is technically MY house now. It’s always been – the fun house next door was just a house that I would visit during the daytime, but the crowded house is where I’ve actually lived since we moved out of the shoebox.

“Sometimes you gotta stay in, And you know where I live, Yeah you know where we is, Sometimes you gotta stay in, in- Welcome to my house, Baby take control now. We can’t even slow down, We don’t have to go out. Welcome to my house, Play that music too loud, Show me what you do now, We don’t have to go out. Welcome to my house.”

(Another song that my pale creature seems to like.)

Anyways, the crowded house is about the same size (maybe a bit larger) than the fun house, and it contains two REALLY old white-haired, pale wrinkly creatures that my yellow-haired creature calls “Muzzy” and “Poopaw.” “Poopaw” calls me: “Sootie Footie.”

 I’m not particularly a fan of this nickname, but oh well.

 This house has barely any empty space in it (hence the name) – especially since my yellow-haired creature’s “mom” and Binx moved in after living in the fun house for a while. But there’s still enough room to run around and play – so I’m still happy here.

But there are also two more cats that live in my new home named Gozer and Zuul. (Get ready for the “Ghostbuster” puns and references – one of my “human’s” favorite movies).

Let’s start with Gozer, shall we?

 

This cat is obviously the alpha in the crowded house. He’s a large, burly white cat that LOVES to hiss, swat, scratch, and scowl at others.

But obviously I softened him.

My yellow-haired creature calls him “The Vile One,” the female white-haired creature calls him the “Stupid, G**D*** Cat,” but she also jokingly calls him: “Angel Face.”

I just call him Gozer, because that’s exactly what he is – The Destructor.

Gozer owns the two white-haired creatures, but he loves the male white-haired creature most because the female likes to hit him with newspapers and cereal boxes whenever he does something she doesn’t like.

But what they don’t understand is that in retaliation – he will cause “Old Testament-type destruction. Real ‘wrath-of-God’ type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!”  

No, but really, he was mean to me at first as well, but I eventually got him to the point where he would play with me without trying to actually attack me.

I knew better than to “cross the streams.” 

But see, I understand Gozer in a way that no one ever does. He was named after a female villain, he doesn’t know what love feels like, and his go-to emotion is anger.

But me being me – I know how to talk him down when he gets overly angry. I say:

“Gozer the Gozerian…Good evening. As a representative of the city, county, and state… I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forth with to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.” 

My “human” usually sarcastically responds with “That ought-a do it,” but Gozer’s actually a very tolerable cat if you get to know him like I have.

But that doesn’t mean he’s still not mean to my pale creature as well as Binx and Zuulie.

Sure, I get concerned when Gozer hurts my pale creature for simply trying to pet him – especially since she used to come to my defense whenever Gozer would try to do the same to me – but now I’m usually just like:

“That’s great! Actual physical contact – can you move?”

I obviously take great pride in taming a wild beast.

“I came, I saw, I kicked it’s a**!”

At least for a moment.

Now, let’s move on to Zuul.

Everyone calls her “Zuulie” because she’s female, and unfortunately, I have really bad luck with females. Both Yzma and Zuulie HATE me.

“I just want to love you. I don’t want to change you or judge you, I just want to love you…”

Sorry, that was a sorry attempt at a song reference. Anyways, when I first met her, she looked at me and asked:

“Are you the key master?” and I said “Uh…no.” and she was just no longer interested.

Whatever. 

She hisses and scowls at me more than Gozer does whenever I cross her path.

And I’m always like: “What a lovely singing voice you must have.”  

But she hates Gozer more than she hates me – he tends to bother her a lot. He probably bothers her more than Binx and I do, but she’s strangely very popular with the “humans” because she’s actually nice to them. They always ask where she is (because she hides from us a lot), but she treats them like gods and goddesses, and she treats her own kind like crap.

But then again, Yzma acted that way too. 

I guess it’s just a thing with female felines. I don’t understand it.

I just grow tired of it.

But besides all of these cats that don’t like each other and strangely like me – my life at the crowded house is still a blast (even though I’d rather be at the fun house) and it’s waaaaay better than it was in the shoebox and shelter.

I like to sleep on top of cabinets, speed up and down stairs, go outside on a leash, relax in the garage, play with my toys (with my “humans”), watch the birds outside the window in the yard, make my “humans” laugh, and coo at my “humans” day in and day out.

However, along with the birdies, I also get to see many stray/outside cats roam past the house.

I think some of their names are “Ying Yang,” (a black and white cat) and “Van Gogh” (a cat that looks like it doesn’t have ears). 

The slightly large red-haired creature said that she thinks she has a “kitten bush” in her backyard that grows/sprouts kittens that randomly walk into her yard, looking for food.

It doesn’t exactly help that she feeds the wildlife “human” food, so they’re attracted to her yard anyways, but whatever.

But one time, there was this REALLY, REALLY, small/cute/dirty kitten that stole ALL of the attention that I was getting. I was jealous, but at the same time, I had to admit that he was ADORABLE. It was tiny, tan, domesticated, and spunky.

He was VERY entertaining to watch.

My yellow-haired creature’s “mom” heard it crying in a bush, so she walked over to it, picked it out, and suddenly everyone surrounded it. (Hence, the “kitten bush” theory.)

My humans kept naming it “Smudge,” “Grendel,” “Taffy,” “Peach,” “Attila,” “Spector,” and “Daisy.”

 They didn’t know it’s gender right away – but I knew it was a boy. Females usually aren’t that friendly or spunky right off the bat (In my opinion).

It was slightly bloated, so everyone could tell it had worms. It also probably had mites in its ears, like I did.

My yellow-haired creature gave it some of my food, water, and toys – which I wasn’t very happy with, but whatever. 

I was watching it dance and meow through the window, but when I actually was able to make physical contact with it, I didn’t like the way it smelt – so I hissed at it.

My yellow-haired creature’s “mom” wasn’t very happy with me.

Either way, I know that the poor little creature was taken care of. My humans took it to the vet and they found a home for it.

His “humans” ended up naming him “Mufasa.” 

Thankfully, this probably won’t be the last time something really interesting happens at this place – and I look forward to more.

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In Closing…

So…yeah, this is my life.

I hope you enjoyed this, because my “human” will probably be really mad when she finds out that I’ve been using her machine behind her back.

I’m happy that this is just the tip of the ice burg for me, and my “human” and I will be looking forward to many more adventures on our long life journey together.

Stay tuned for more!

Catch you later,

Sootie ❤