rissy stories

Brynn

She would definitely have to miss school the next day. That’s the first thing that came to mind when Brynn heard Van leave shortly after she retreated back down to the basement. She sat on top of the old, creaky floorboards of the first two basement steps right next to the door. The next three steps led to the actual basement floor with multiple colorful rugs spread across the hardwood to make it seem more home-y. Her little sisters slept on those rugs with multiple blankets several feet from her as she sat in the darkness, staring underneath the little sliver of light underneath the door with tearful eyes. She had no idea when… or if Van and Ripley would come back, and she knew that they couldn’t stay at Ms. Lowell’s forever. Her mind scrambled for other options rather than being homeless with a neurotic ten-year-old and a colicky one-year-old stuck to her side. She scratched the back of her head as silent tears fell, dropping from her chin and into her hair as she sat on the basement steps, hugging her knees and staring at the faint light from the kitchen poking out from under the door. Eventually, the light vanished when Ms. Lowell flicked the switch and went back to bed, and Brynn was left in the darkness.

Brynn sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. What would Ripley do in this situation? She wondered as she looked towards the pitch blackness of the basement. She knew that Ripley would go down to the police station to try and free their parents, but Brynn didn’t have the money or the power to try and lift cocaine possession charges – none of them did. However, she had no idea what step two would be if that were impossible. She didn’t even know if Ripley knew. She clenched her fists and restrained herself from punching the door.

She sighed, wiped her eyes, and looked down at herself, nervous that she couldn’t even see her body in the dark. She hated being in complete darkness more than anything – nyctophobia was her number one phobia… with claustrophobia a close second. Nothing good ever came out of being in the dark. Brynn’s thoughts spiraled around the notion that one could possibly get away with anything if it’s dark enough to the point where they can’t be seen, it’s a powerful and vulnerable situation at the same time. Not to mention that you could drive yourself insane by hallucinating and seeing/hearing s*** that’s not really there. Ripley initially told her that her fear of the dark would fade, but she still couldn’t shake it knowing those two things – she just rarely ever talked about it anymore.

However, one thing that she could be thankful for was the fact that she couldn’t see how much weight she had gained over the past year. In daylight hours, she could clearly see that she used to be 127 pounds, but now weighed a solid 150 – as told by the scale in the upstairs bathroom. The majority of her clothes didn’t fit anymore and her mother had made it pretty clear that people were going to start judging and making fun of her if she didn’t lose the weight. And by people, she meant herself. Brynn couldn’t count how many times her mother made passing comments about how she needed to buy looser-fitting clothing or lose weight, and the number of times Ripley got into screaming matches with their mother over these comments were also countless.

Brynn could picture her mother’s brown eyes scanning her up and down as she sat on the couch, a cigarette in one hand, and bottle of beer in the other. She could practically hear her mother telling her: “You really think the girls at school are gonna look atchu and wanna be friends witchu when ya look like a slob?” At that point, if Ripley were there, she would interfere by shoving Brynn behind her and yelling at their mother to “Leave Brynn alone – she’s a healthy weight and you’re just jealous that she don’t look like death like you do.” Meanwhile, Brynn would just stand there and shut down completely until Ripley yanked her out of the room. But it was true that her mother’s skin-and-bone complexion caused Brynn to only ever think: Good God, I don’t want to end up looking like her. Thus, the cycle of feeling guilty about her weight, thinking about her mother, then eating whatever she wanted continued steadily.

Now she was beginning to see where Van was coming from with just letting their parents rot in jail… but if they wanted to remain a family, then they didn’t have that option. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, knowing that she wasn’t going to get anything solved from staying awake. So, she shut her eyes and leaned her head against the door to try and relax, imagining that she were in her own bed and not about to miss her biology test the next day. She began to slowly drift off until she heard the piercing cry of her baby sister and jolted awake, stood up, and flicked the basement light on so she could see. The light illuminated the dusty, old basement and Brynn was met with a strong sense of relief. A strange, puke-green filing cabinet sat against the wall, next to the green couch, which Ellison and Hadley were sleeping in front of. Brynn didn’t blame them – that couch looked gross. Ms. Lowell probably doesn’t come down here very often. Brynn thought. Meanwhile, Ellison pulled a blanket over her head and plugged her ears with her fingers while Brynn bound down the steps and stepped over Ellison to get to Hadley, who was sitting up and crying on the other side of her.

“What’s the matter, Hads? Huh? You hungry? Need a diaper change?” she asked, not exactly knowing what to do. She’d never woken up in the middle of the night with the baby crying before – that was always Ripley or Van’s job. She looked at Hadley’s red, tear-soaked face and began to slightly panic. Brynn sniffed her diaper briefly and cringed.

“Is she dying? Do we need to take her to the hospital?” Ellison asked tiredly from underneath the blanket. Brynn huffed and rolled her eyes – her panic vanished. Ellison always had that knack of putting things into perspective. She thought.

“No, she isn’t dying, she’s a baby,” she replied, bouncing Hadley on her hip and walking towards the steps. Ellison came out from underneath the blanket and stared at her sisters back, her straight, blonde hair static-y again from all the friction.

“She doesn’t normally scream like that though,” she commented over the crying.

“She’s fine, babies cry all the time – that’s what they do,” Brynn responded harshly.

“Why do you have to be like that?” Ellison asked. Brynn groaned loudly, turned around, and looked down at her sister.

“Be like what?” she asked.

“Mean,” Ellison replied blankly. Brynn scoffed.

“You always make such a big deal out of everything – I’m just tired, okay?” she asked and started walking up the basement steps. Ellison glared at her as she left the basement to go find a bathroom, but Brynn didn’t have time to spare Ellison’s touchy feelings. She opened the basement door and turned right. She walked down the hall, further from the kitchen and basement, and then treaded into the living-room part of the house where the front door resided. In the dark, she then spotted another door to the left of the front door that was shut. Brynn opened it and found a small bathroom with a red rug separating the toilet and sink. She flicked on the light switch and walked in, shutting the door behind her. Hadley was still whining as Brynn placed her on the rug. She pushed her bushy hair behind her ears as she spotted a green duffle bag full of diapers behind the toilet – probably left there from the last time they were hiding out in Ms. Lowell’s house. She reached to grab it and Hadley fell onto her back, starting to thrash around and scream with impatience. Brynn ripped the bag open and pulled out a diaper, dropping it beside Hadley, looking at it like it was some sort of foreign object.

She pulled Hadley’s purple pajama shorts down and pinched her pointer fingers and thumbs together, slowly peeling away both diaper tapes and lowering the front of it. She gagged at the sight and smell, turning her head away and coughing, now realizing why Hadley had been screaming. She wondered if Hadley had eaten something that caused her to have this disgusting of a diaper, or if she was more stressed out by the events of the night than everyone originally thought. Brynn’s eyes started to well up with tears from the stench as she reached for the baby wipes also stuffed inside the green duffle bag. She grabbed Hadley by the ankles and lifted up her torso so that she could remove the dirty diaper and replace it with a clean one, but she took out three wipes and cleaned up her bottom before switching them out. She put the clean diaper together and then chucked the dirty one in a trash can next to the toilet. Hadley calmed herself down while Brynn stood up and washed her hands.

“There’s literally no better birth control,” she said to Hadley after she dried her hands and picked her up off the floor. She left the duffle bag where it was, flicked the light switch, and left the bathroom. She headed back to the basement around 3:45 am, where she was tossing and turning next to her sleeping sisters for the rest of the night on a colorful, dusty rug.

xxx

Brynn woke up from a nightmare by someone gently placing a hand on her shoulder. Her puffy, sleep-ridden eyes snapped open to see that the basement lights had been turned on and Ellison was kneeling over her, her head blocking the light directly above them.

“I think Ripley’s upstairs,” she whispered. Brynn sat up and Ellison leaned back.

“Ripley’s back?” she asked. Ellison shrugged. “What about Van?” Ellison shrugged again.

“I hear people talking,” she explained. Brynn rolled her eyes and stood up while Ellison remained on her knees.

“You ever think to go check?” she asked. Ellison remained silent as she ran up the steps and out of the basement. She opened the door and saw daylight pouring into the hallway. What time was it? She wondered. She heard voices coming from the kitchen, so she walked in and saw Ripley leaning up against the fridge, talking to Ms. Lowell. Ripley’s hair was wet and wavy, and she was wearing skinny jeans, boots, and a plain white, long-sleeved turtleneck. Ms. Lowell was still in her nightgown and robe from the night before, and their heads turned to Brynn as she walked into the kitchen. Brynn smiled wide and ran up to Ripley, hugging her with so much force that it almost knocked her over. Ripley looked surprised, but hugged her back tightly.

“You didn’t think I actually split, did you?” she asked sadly as Brynn buried her head in Ripley’s shoulder. She could smell the apple shampoo Ripley always used.

“Where’d you go?” Brynn asked, her voice muffled by Ripley’s shirt.

“Across the street. Zane took me in and then I took a quick shower at our house this mornin’,” she replied. Brynn nodded and let go of her. Zane was always one of the good ones, she always wished that Ripley was still dating him. Now they were just good friends. “Where’s Van?” Ripley asked curiously. Brynn glanced over at Ms. Lowell and pressed her lips together.

“He left last night, honey,” Ms. Lowell replied, placing a hand on her arm. Ripley’s eyes widened and she turned to her.

“He what?” she asked.

“He gone. Said he was gonna come back in the mornin’ for the little ones,” Ms. Lowell answered. Brynn tried not to cringe at the phrase ‘little ones.’ She was thirteen, not a child.

“What, and he just never came back?” Ripley asked turning back to Brynn, who shook her head. Ripley scoffed and ran her hands through her wet hair. “F***ing Van,” she cursed. Then Ellison walked into the kitchen with Hadley on her hip. She shuffled up to Ripley, who didn’t even look at Ellison, she fake-smiled for Hadley, who was smiling back at her, and took her from Ellison’s arms.

“When can we go home?” Ellison then asked flatly. Ripley ruffled Hadley’s hair.

“When our parents get out of jail,” she replied, and at that, there was a swift pounding on the front door. Everyone experienced a moment of déjà vu and paused before another swift pounding followed by:

“Police!”

Ellison gasped and Brynn slapped a hand over her mouth before Ellison could say anything else. Ripley grabbed onto Ms. Lowell’s arm. “You think they’re out the back too?” she asked in a whisper. Ms Lowell nodded.

“After so many times of this, baby, a-course they’re out the back now,” she replied. “You gotta go inta ma room and hide,” she added as she moved to the front door. Ripley nodded and looked at Brynn. Brynn grabbed Ellison’s hand and followed close behind with Ellison stuttering “But-but-what-if-we-get-caught?” They ignored her as Ripley held Hadley close and walked past the fridge and into a different narrow hallway. She turned to the left, and at the very end of the hall was a closed door that Ripley opened, revealing a single-dorm-room-sized bedroom with a queen sized bed and large chest leaned up against the foot of it. They found all three cats on Ms. Lowell’s bed – one of them black and white, but the other two were calicos. They scrambled off the bed as soon as they came in and ran out of the room. Brynn fought the urge to follow them, pick them up, and hold them to her chest for comfort against their will (She loved animals). The window to the right revealed the side of the house, where Ripley could see police cars and flashing red and blue lights. She got down on her knees, followed by Brynn and Ellison. Brynn shut the door quietly behind Ellison, who immediately crawled underneath the bed in a panic. She found various containers of clothes and jewelry and actually climbed into one filled with clothes – she was just small enough to fit.

Meanwhile Ripley crawled into the adjoining bathroom and opened the light brown cabinet underneath the sink covered in toothpaste. She took out several toilet paper rolls as well as a box of Daily paper cups and placed Hadley in there, then replaced the items, put her finger to her lips and shushed at Hadley, then shut the cabinet door. Brynn crawled towards the chest as wide as the width of the bed and opened it, finding that it was half-full with random books. She bit her tongue, hating the idea of climbing inside it. However, despite her fear, she began to climb into it when Ripley reappeared out of the bathroom. Then she stopped.

“Wait, grab me a blanket,” Brynn whispered, pointing to the bed. Ripley grabbed one lone blanket from the bed as Brynn climbed into the chest, leaned face-down as far as she could on the books that were jabbing her. She suddenly became consumed in darkness as Ripley went a step further and threw in a layer of clothing and a winter coat that Ellison had taken out of the container she had climbed into, then Ripley covered Brynn with the blanket and shut the chest lid. Brynn blinked and heard shuffling as well as the sound of hangers clanging together from the small closet in the corner of the room – squished between the window and the dresser. Hopefully Ripley wasn’t hiding in a spot that was noticeable.

Brynn’s face scrunched up again as she began to helplessly, but silently, sob under the stuffy blanket. She held a sweater in front of her nose and mouth, trying not to make any noise. Not even twelve hours later, and she was already surrounded by darkness again, in a tight space no less. Tears slid down her face and landed on the sharp books beneath her. She’d already gotten a papercut on her right hand, she could feel it when she clenched her hands into fists. She bit the corner of a book and squeezed her eyes shut, more tears falling. She trembled and placed her hands flat against each side of the chest, double checking to make sure it wasn’t shrinking in on her. She had to force herself to breath, feeling too huge for this chest.

It wasn’t long before they all heard someone open the bedroom door, followed by a: “Go ‘head an’ look ‘round, but they ain’t here,” by Ms. Lowell. She heard multiple footsteps on the carpeted floor as well as Ms. Lowell’s continuing to say: “I dunno why y’all think they here all the time. Just ‘cause I live alone don’t mean I take ‘em in, I like my privacy.” Brynn bit her lip and shut her eyes, actually beginning to pray, even though she didn’t actually believe in God. “It’s just standard procedure, ma’am. We’re doing this with all the neighbors,” she heard a man respond. Brynn suddenly felt the chest lid suddenly open, but she was still covered by the blankets and clothes, so she couldn’t see. She prayed that whoever was looking down at her right now didn’t notice her body under the blanket. Thank God Ripley threw in clothes too.

“Why’s there a blanket in here, ma’am?” that same man asked.

“Keeps the dust off ma clothes and books,” Ms. Lowell replied.

“Huh… well that’s a novel idea!” the man said, closing the chest lid. Brynn was too scared and overwhelmed to even remotely comprehend the pun.

“Oh, Jeffrey…no,” she heard a different man say from farther away. She let out a shaky, quiet sigh of relief, and clearly, Ms. Lowell wasn’t that impressed with it either.

“Ha…good one, sir,” Brynn heard her say. After another minute of searching, they heard everyone leave the room. Someone shut the door again, but no one moved from their spots until they heard the door open again a few minutes later, the sound of footsteps walking towards to the window, and the sound of blinds shutting. “A’ight, kids, they gone.” Brynn then heard several sighs and groans of relief as she twisted around onto her back, pushed the blanket and clothes off of her, and opened the lid to the chest from the inside. Her face was red and wet from crying and sweating. She climbed out of the stuffy chest and stood up, watching Ripley emerge from the closet and Ellison crawl out from under the bed.

“Holy s***, I can’t believe that worked,” Ripley said, her hair much drier and frizzier than it had been before they all hid. She walked over to Brynn and took her face in her hands. “You’re smart for askin’ for that blanket, we woulda been screwed otherwise,” she said sincerely and pulled her in for a hug. She knew how much Brynn hated small, tight, dark spaces. A smile tugged on Brynn’s lips while Ellison stood up and rolled her eyes at them.

“You’re welcome for the clothes I threw on the ground for you to use too,” she said, walking into the bathroom to retrieve Hadley. Thankfully Hadley always had the knack of never making a sound when it mattered most. Meanwhile, Ripley glared at Ellison over Brynn’s shoulder, and Brynn just ignored her, simply feeling thankful that none of them got caught.

“What is wrong with you?” Ripley asked. Brynn let her go and shook her head at Ripley, not wanting them to get into now of all times. Ellison walked back into the room with Hadley with her lip quivering, looking like she was struggling to fight back tears.

“How are we getting mommy and daddy out of jail?” she asked, sounding strained. Ripley sighed, deciding that it wasn’t worth arguing over.

“I don’t know, but it’s probably not safe for any of us to head down there because we don’t know if we can get ‘em out this time,” she replied with her hands on her hips. “What time is it?” she asked Ms. Lowell curiously. Ms. Lowell checked the black watch on her left wrist.

“9:20,” she replied.

“So, what are we gonna do?” Ellison asked. Hadley interrupted by smiling and laughing, pointing to Ms. Lowell, who was making faces at her. The three girls paused and looked over at Ms. Lowell, suddenly thinking the same exact thing. She appeared confused by their stares at first, but then scanned all of their faces and shook her head.

“Hell naw, I ain’t doin’ it, y’all can just forget it,” she said, starting to back up out of the room and into the hallway.

“Please, Ms. L, you know we wouldn’t ask you if we had any other options,” Brynn pleaded.

“They’ll know y’all are stayin’ here if I head on down there like: ‘‘scuse me, I’m here to bail out Mista and Missus Hazeldine,’ Why would I do dat otherwise?” she explained. Ripley turned to Brynn and bit her lip.

“She’s got a point,” she said. Brynn ran her tongue over her top teeth, trying to think of anyone that could possibly head down to the station for them. Then she remembered Van and suddenly snapped her fingers.

“Van – doesn’t he have, like, a girlfriend or something? What’s-her-face down the block with the dreads? Got kicked out by her parents a couple months ago?” Brynn asked. Ripley raised her eyebrows, straightened up, and snapped her fingers, instantly remembering that slut who had hooked up with Zane, right after Ripley had broken up with him. She apparently wasn’t a very good rebound, but Van had been hooked on her for a while.

“Ida-banged-her!” Ripley exclaimed. Brynn smirked while Ellison tilted her head.

“Her name is Idabangedher?” she asked. Brynn and Ms. Lowell stifled a laugh while Ripley shook her head.

“Her name is Ida. That was her nickname before she dropped outta high school, and don’t repeat that,” Ripley corrected to Ellison without even looking at her. Ellison shrugged, not even knowing what that nickname meant anyways. “Where does she live now?” Ripley asked.

“Not sure, I think the next street over,” Brynn replied and then widened her eyes as she came to a sudden realization. “Wait, you think that’s where Van went last night?” she added. Ripley reached over and kissed the top of Brynn’s head.

“You’re too smart for your own good,” she said and then grabbed Brynn’s wrist, pulling her towards the door. “Let’s go to kitchen phone, I think I still remember her number,” she said and they fled, leaving Ellison and Ms. Lowell behind in the bedroom.

As they ran into the kitchen, Ripley found the phone up against the wall near the table. She handed Hadley to Brynn, then took the phone off of its hinge and dialed a number while Brynn sat down at the table behind her with Hadley in her lap. There was a brief pause while Ripley turned around to face Brynn, the spiral cord spreading out behind her back. She had her free hand in a fist, her fingers slightly moving while still balled up with nervousness. When she finally heard a voice on the other line, she bent her knees slightly and shut her eyes with relief.

“Van, if this is you, I swear to God-”

“No-no, Ida, it’s me. Ripley,” Ripley replied. There was another pause on the other end.

“If you’re lookin’ for Van, he literally just left to go visit your aunt over on Hillside, but that’s all I know,” Ida answered swiftly. Ripley’s eyes landed on Brynn again, who’s mouth had parted slightly at that bit of information she heard from the receiving end of the phone. Why would he be risking going out in public – and to Hillside no less? Ripley gripped the phone tighter, her eyes widening with anger as she pieced together what he was doing.

“He’s goin’ to see if Aunt Jay will adopt us?” she asked. Brynn shook her head rapidly. Even Hadley seemed to give her disapproval by beginning to whine and carry on. Brynn bounced Hadley in her lap, trying to get her to calm down. Ripley turned back to the wall.

“Yeah, look, I gotta get to work,” Ida replied impatiently.

“Wait-wait-wait, okay, that’s not actually why I called, but thanks for the update,” Ripley said, sounding pretty ungrateful. “I really need you to do somethin’ for me. None of us can be seen in public to go check on Melvin and Babs, so I was wonderin’ if you’d just go down there and check to see how much bail is and what they’re bein’ charged with,” Ripley finally explained. There was a long, awkward pause before she finally heard a sigh on the other end.

“How much you payin’ me?” Ida asked. Ripley turned back around and gave Brynn a thumbs up while stating “Name your price” into the phone. Brynn fake smiled at Ripley, then slouched in her seat. Either way, the outcome of this situation was a lose-lose for everyone. If they bailed their parents out, then they’d have to go back to their shitty lives with their parents. If Aunt Jay adopted them, it would be just like living with Melvin and Babs, but in a different neighborhood. And if neither of those two things worked… then they all ended up in foster homes until they turned 18 – except for Hadley, because she more than likely would get adopted. Brynn stared at the top of Hadley’s head and spaced out – trying to imagine what it would be like the day that she turned 18. Maybe her life wouldn’t be so small and dark anymore.