rissy stories

Hey guys,

After spending months on a pretty depressing fictional story, I wanted to take a break from that and focus on something a little bit more lighthearted and not so R-rated. But this one won’t be as silly as the last one mostly because Sootie’s not a kitten anymore and I wanted to show that he’s matured a little bit, but he’s still the best/derpiest cat I know.

My family is really obsessed with cats and they are basically like people to us. They all have unique personalities and I’ve always been interested in their points of view. Sootie’s been a part of my family for a full year now, he’s had some new experiences, and he’s met new friends. So, this is going to be more so of a journal entry/update. 

Also, this is also mostly just for me because I like to look back on stuff like this years from now.

Enjoy!

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 Dear Fleshy Fellow,

Haaiii!

I’m hogging my human’s bright box thingy again. She’s stressed out and needs a box break. And I didn’t exactly hate pushing her buttons the first time, so I’m gonna do it again and see where my amazing mind takes me. Plus, I’m older now, so I know more things about certain things. Yeah.

But instead of thinking outside the box, imma think in the box. Because that’s more fun.

So, where to begin… well, we moved again. (Remember, I’m a jet-set kitty). Oh, speaking of, I’ve also gotten many new nicknames from my human’s family and her roommate. (Yes, I’ve finally learned the names of everyone! Aren’t you proud of me? Say you’re proud of me).

Of course I’ll always be “Monkey Face,” “The Sootie Mangabie,” “Sootie Footie,” and “Fuzz-butt,” but Rissy’s roommate calls me “Soots,” Rissy’s aunt calls me “Sootifer” and “Sootster,” and Rissy’s mom calls me “Sootiekins.” Don’t ask me why. I don’t know why.

Anyway, so after the summer, we moved out of the Crowded House again. This time to a slightly smaller, but less crowded place. We live in one big room and then my own separate bedroom within the big room! I also have my own play corner with tissue paper and toys, and TWO windows to look out of! My human leaves the big glass squares open so I can hear and see stuff like moving, colorful, metal boxes with wheels. Some of them make high-pitched squeaky noises that make my human say:

“They really need to take that thing in the shop. It literally sounds like it’s crying for help.”

I also like to watch other humans walk around – they’re tiny and they have turtle-shell looking things on their backs that hook around their arms. But they’re squishy and they hold heavy things, it’s weird. (I know this because my human has one too.) Anyways, I have plenty of room to run around now and tons of stuff to play with. This place is awesome – way better than the first room that I lived in when I first moved in with my human. The only thing missing is stairs.

The only thing iffy about it is how many people live in this place than the other dorm room that we lived in before this one. I want to go outside and roam the building, but there are too many people around. Sometimes I’ll try to escape when my human opens the door, but I always end up running right back inside because there’s always someone in the hallway.

But at the same time, I’ve met plenty of new people and kitties! There’s another red-haired human who visits from time to time. She’s really nice. I like the way she smells, and she brings over her turtle-shell looking thing often too. Although, it’s not turtle-shaped, it’s square-shaped, and she wears it on her shoulder instead of her back. But I like the feel of hers more than my own human’s – I like to sit on it.

There’s also a brown-haired male human who visits my human and her roommate, and he sometimes brings over a kitten named Zelda. She’s my best friend!

There was one time when her human went away for a couple of days, and we babysat her for about four days. We had soooo much fun!

These are pictures from when she was really little, but she’s a couple months older now and she’s lost a little bit of her fluffiness. She also visits a little less often now, but we still have a blast when she does! She makes me wish I had a little brother or sister.

Although my human’s family keeps calling her my “girlfriend,” I honestly don’t care. I just wish I had a permanent buddy to play with. My human keeps saying it’ll happen one day, so hopefully that’s soon. But for now, I’m happy with what and who I got. ^^

There’s also some bad news since the last time I wrote my first post. Over at the Fun House… Anubis, the king himself… has passed away. He died towards the end of last summer. My human said he had cancer, but it happened so suddenly. One day he started walking funny, so my human’s aunt took him to the vet and they had to “put him down.” It was really sad.

 R.I.P.

Nitro was walking around my human’s aunt’s house for days and crying for him, so I visited him pretty often towards the end of the summer. We had fun playdates up until my human and I moved again, and I hope I took his mind off of Anubis passing, at least for a moment.

Oh, and for those who are wondering, Binx is still fine. He’s still a member of the Crowded House and he’s still really f***ing weird.

Gozer and Zuulie are still fine as well. Gozer’s still an a**hole. Zuulie’s still a hermit who hates everyone. And Yzma-I mean-Mocha moved to my human’s father’s house.

A couple weeks after we moved, new kitties entered our lives back at the Fun House! My human’s aunt got a tortoiseshell kitty that I have yet to meet. My human has met her briefly, but I can’t find any pictures of her. Her name is Ripley, and I think she looks like this, but with less orange.

From what I hear, she’s all muscle, and she’s pretty apprehensive (Yeah, I used a big word. I’m so pleased with myself right now.) about meeting new cats, which is why I have yet to meet her. I mean, I understand, but I’m not like other cats, you know? I have yet to meet a cat who doesn’t like me. I’m like-able, adorable, and fun to be around, what’s not to love?

But I do know that Ripley got her name from getting “the rips” very frequently. In other words, she sprints around the house a lot, like a demon has possessed her or something. I get them too, but not as frequently as she does. She also loves toy springs. They’re colorful and she plays fetch with them. She’ll only play with those toys though, and she’s possessive of them. My human introduced me to those springs recently, and I fully understand. They’re not the only toys I play with and I don’t fetch with them, but I do like to carry them everywhere with me.

Ripley took to Nitro pretty well from what I hear, but it wasn’t until a new kitten entered the mix that she began to rebel a bit. This new kitten was unplanned, and the story behind how she came into our lives is sad/traumatic.

My human says that one of her mother’s students (Whatever that word means) walked up to her in school (Again, whatever that word means) one day with this little orange kitten in her hands and said that she saw someone throw it out the window of a moving car. Humans can be cruel, who would do such a thing?

She picked it up, took it to a needle-woman to make sure it was healthy, and then brought it to my human’s mother because she couldn’t keep it.

So, my human’s mother kept the kitten and sent a picture to my human’s aunt, asking if she knew anyone who would want a kitten. My human’s aunt said she would take her, so she’s been in our lives ever since. She’s a paler orange than Nitro, she’s tinier than Zelda, and her name is Pixel.

She’s honestly a fireball, and I don’t really know what to do with her. My human’s aunt brings her over to the Crowded House every couple of days or so, but she mainly lives with Nitro and Ripley over at the Fun House. I only come back to the Crowded House occasionally, so I’ve met Pixel. She’s a very feisty cat – she actually took on Gozer once. Even I’m afraid to take on Gozer.

It took Ripley awhile to get used to her, apparently, which is how we know that Ripley doesn’t adjust to new cats very well. However, Pixel’s very finicky. One day she likes me, and the next day she’s not interested. We play with each other occasionally, though. She also does this weird thing where she likes to suck on human ear lobes.

Don’t ask me, I don’t know. But she was probably taken away from her mother too soon and she uses it as a coping mechanism. She also likes to get really close to the camera, which is also weird to me because I don’t like close-ups very much.

Now, moving onto Christmas. I have no idea what “Christmas” actually is or why everyone in the entire world shows up to the Crowded House on that one day where humans “celebrate” it, but TISSUE PAPER, PAPER BAGS, & TOYS. It was literally HEAVEN because I had so much stuff to play with. Apparently humans give each other gifts on that day, but we got gifts too! (We meaning me, Gozer, Zuulie, Binx, Nitro, Ripley, Pixel, and my human’s cousin’s cat Tux.) It was so much fun and I can’t wait for it to happen again.

So, going home is always fun, but when we moved back into my human’s “dorm room” after being home for a month… I started feeling really icky. My eyes kept swelling up and I didn’t feel like moving around much. I felt ache-y and all I really wanted to do was sleep. My human looked really worried for a while until she finally took me to needle-woman. I mean, that’s honestly the last place I wanted to be, but I was willing to do whatever it took to feel better, so I didn’t fight it.

Needle-woman stuck a stick thingy up my butt and said that I had a fever of 104, so they kept me in that prison for 3 days. I hated every second of it and I missed my human like crazy, but once my fever went down, I started eating again and I felt better. Then I went home.

It was the first time I’d really been that sick before, so it was strange, but I’m all better now. My human’s still a little gun-shy about my eyes, though. She freaks out whenever one looks a little swollen.

And unfortunately, it happened again a couple months later. However, this time, my human took me to needle-woman straight away. Needle-woman then confirmed that I have Feline Herpesvirus Type 1 (FHV-1), aka: “Cat Herpes.” (Don’t worry, it means something completely different in cats than humans). It’s sort of like a permanent upper respiratory infection, and it flares up whenever I get extremely stressed out.

They gave me gooey stuff, I think it’s called Terramycin, for my eyes whenever they get agitated, and when my right lymph node swelled, my human got me some pink, bubble-gum-flavored liquid called Amoxycillin. I was displeased to hear that my human never experienced the distaste of the medicine itself because she’s allergic to it, so she doesn’t fully comprehend how awful the experience of swallowing that bile actually was.

Those medications were stopped a few weeks ago. Since then, I seem to be doing okay. My human’s still gun-shy about it and she’s constantly trying to make sure I’m not stressed out, but I wish I could tell her that I’m fine. She feels bad for “giving her anxiety to me,” because my job is to keep her from being stressed out, and now her job is to keep me from being stressed out. We’re a match made in heaven.

Anyways, in the meantime, I’m still up to my shananigans. I still coo all the time, and my human responds. However, I’m much more vocal with my “meowing” than I used to be. She responds to that too.

I’m also doing my job by annoying her a lot, but she loves it. I know she does. One thing I really like to do that gets under her skin is sit by her bed and cry until she gets up and pets me. I do it every day, especially right after she wakes up. She says she hates it, but I know she loves it. That’s why I keep doing it. That, and I need attention.

I still try to attack her legs when she’s walking around in the dorm room, talking into her phone-thingy. I also still get the rips and slam into things, like windows and doors. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving knocking things over in the middle of the night.

I’ve become a little bit more OCD about grooming myself, and my human’s roommate loves picking me up and ruining the clean right after I’m done cleaning myself. I try to give her a murderous glare, but she just thinks it’s cute, so it doesn’t really work. She then says: “Don’t look at me with that tone of voice.” I need to come up with a new plan.

I also still love to sit on my human’s desk while she works. She has these new things – I think they’re called “candles.” She has one on her desk and she’s always lighting them on fire. They smell really good, so I like to sit by it, but I know not to touch it.

Then, after a couple months of all this, my human and her roommate started packing everything about two weeks before we moved again. However, something weird happened. There was a lot of commotion on top of my human’s family actually visiting me in the “dorm room!” I’ve never seen them anywhere outside of the Crowded House and Fun House, it was mind-boggling to me!

They were apparently there for something called: “graduation.”

It was a good weekend, though. We all had a good time. I’m so proud of my human for accomplishing… whatever she accomplished.

Anyways, now we’ve moved back home to the Crowded House for the summer. In the end, I’m fabulous, my friends are fabulous, and my life is fabulous.

That’s about it as far as updates go, so I’ll catch you later!

-Sootie ❤