rissy stories

Hey guys,

This is a fiction short story, but it’s based on a true story from my very first job.

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            July 29^th, 2020.

“A laptop,” I had said in a quiet, wavering tone. “You bought me… a laptop.”

“Yes, I did,” Holden had replied with a smile. “Do you not like it?” I immediately asked him how much it cost, and he told me not to worry about it. I honestly didn’t know what to say, looking down at the brand new MacBook within a white box in my hands. He continued to smile and suggested that I start by saying ‘thank you.’ So, I did. Albeit, shakily, but the words tumbled out of my mouth regardless. He nodded and walked away from my cubicle.

He. Bought. Me. A. Laptop.

“What the literal fuck.” The words came out as a whisper.

Who buys a stranger a laptop for shits and giggles? And how could he afford this?

I then briefly remembered a conversation from one week ago with Lori. I had explained that my tabby cat, Trouble, had stepped all over my keyboard so many times that most of the keys didn’t even work anymore. Lori shrugged and took a sip of the coffee I had fetched for her that morning – a Grande vanilla latte at 180 degrees with two raw sugars, almond milk, whipped cream, and Cinnamon Dolche sprinkles – before suggesting that I buy a new one.

Stellar advice from someone who can afford a $7.00 cup of coffee every fucking morning.

I had mumbled in agreement with my coworker, but I had just started this temp position and was hoping to start saving money.

I probably should’ve realized that Holden was eavesdropping on that conversation.

July 8^th, 2020.

My first encounter with everyone at my new, temporary, job was pleasant enough, especially this guy named Holden. He introduced himself to me after Sharon, my boss, showed me around the place. He gave me advice, like never steal Sam’s food from the fridge, because she always brought it in to eat at lunch, but would buy Dunkin Donuts instead. So, she left food in the fridge for too long and it was never fresh. Also, never bust Zach for watching porn at his desk because he’d watch me like a hawk until he found something to get me fired.

But they all seem like nice enough people to me.

July 12^th, 2020.

Holden keeps asking me personal questions about my life – specifically my family and my past. Normal enough, until he started trying to glorify my life in comparison to his.

I once complained about how bad my anxiety could get, because he asked, and he followed it up with: ‘Oh, well you think that sucks, well that’s nothing compared to my depression.’ He’s specifically asking for me to open up to him, just to make me feel worse about myself, in turn.

And strangely, when Holden isn’t doing that, he’s hitting on me. He continuously asks for my number, but I’ve told him on more than one occasion that I didn’t just hand my number over to people I’ve only known for a week – especially coworkers. I’m a professional.

July 18^st, 2020.

Holden has settled on giving me his number and making me promise that I’m going to text him and hang out with him outside of work. And, of course, me being who I am as a person, I promised to in order to appease him because I can’t handle that conflict in my life.

‘I know it’s difficult to make friends in a place like this. I’ll be your friend. Let me be your friend,’ he had said. His mind truly proves to be that of a five-year-old in a 30-year-old’s body.

July 25^th, 2020.

You know how when little kids like each other, they start pushing each other around on the playground, and the adults gathered ‘round and said ‘Well, sweetie, that just means he likes you’? Well, that’s exactly what Holden has started doing, getting weirdly physical with me.

Weird as in: he literally bumps into me and lightly pushes or punches my shoulder when we’re near each other. And, of course, he always does it when no one is watching. He also likes making unnerving jokes about how skinny and timid I am by commenting about how he wants to ‘kick me so badly’ or ‘beat the shit out of me,’ just to see if I could take it. And then he turns around and tells me that he’s genuinely worried about people trying to ‘take advantage of me’ because I could be ‘snapped like a twig.’

I’ve told Sharon – oh, you can bet your ass I’ve told Sharon. And all she told me was that ‘Holden may be a character, but he’s an essential part of this mug-selling company, and I’m a temp, and we’re low on staff,’ so there’s nothing she can (will) do about it.

Lori said to just ignore Holden, because her advice is always stellar.

Zach refused to make eye contact with me, and said that Holden bought him “DVDs” from time to time, so he refused to say anything bad about him.

Sam told me that he does that with everyone.

July 30^th, 2020.

I repeat. He bought me a laptop.

August 20^th, 2020.

Holden’s had enough with me, and I feel like I’m going crazy. He’s calling me demeaning names, telling me that I suck at my job, that I’m naïve and ignorant because I don’t like talking about politics or reading the newspaper (it makes me anxious, okay?), that I’m weak and fragile, and that someone will end up coming along to take advantage of me if I don’t ‘grow some balls.’ All this over the fact that I haven’t texted him yet.

This feels like the remnants of an abusive relationship and I’ve only known this guy for a month. But, don’t you worry – he’s still hitting on me, calling me ‘tasty,’ continuously asking me to text him, and he’s been calling me his ‘hot girlfriend’ behind my back. Zach told me.

And I’m not telling Sharon anymore, there’s no point. He’s pulled too many strings to make sure that he doesn’t get fired – he’s untouchable. I feel like I’m going crazy, but I can’t quit because my temporary time here isn’t up yet and I really need this money.

September 23^rd, 2020.

Holden wrote me a note today. I apparently ‘broke his heart’ because I never text him, and that he really wanted us to be best friends, but if that’s too much to ask, then I need to just grow some balls and reject him outright. But he should have realized that he crossed the line with me when I caught him taking pictures of me on his phone during our shift. Just the thought of him with pictures of me in his possession makes me want to vomit. Maybe I should tell Sharon again. Or maybe I should just kill him myself. But that would be crazy, right? Right.

September 30^th, 2020.

I finally reported Holden for the 5^th time to Sharon, so she’s annoyed with me now, but decided to give him a warning anyway… to stay away from me, specifically. He’s been steering clear of me out in the open, but shoots me looks from time to time, probably to let me know that he’s just waiting for his moment. Hopefully I can find another job before then. I’ve already started looking.

October 2^nd, 2020.     

“Why would you do this to me? I’ve been nothing but nice to you – I bought you a laptop!”

That’s what he told me today in the break room. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’ve never been cornered before, let alone at work. I was stupid – not realizing that Holden was back there eating his lunch alone when I went to retrieve my purse from my locker. I told him that I had no idea what he was talking about, but obviously he knew that was bullshit and relentlessly screamed over and over that he wasn’t a creep, but that I was for thinking that he was.

I tried pushing past him, and thankfully, he let me. Then I took the rest of the day off. The money isn’t worth my life. God, I feel like I’m going crazy.

November 21st, 2020.

Holden figured out where I lived. And if one good thing came out of that visit, it would be that I at least won’t have to go to work or pay the bills anymore. Or see him or that stupid fucking laptop ever again. I don’t have to feel scared, guilty, or worthless anymore either.

But it was worth going to jail over.

Oh, and by the way… I’m not crazy.