rissy stories

Hey guys,

So, I wrote this for my Creative Nonfiction class during my Senior Year. It’s about my battle with “senioritis.”

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Ruts are the worst, and I believe most upperclassmen college students can relate.

Mornings are always rough. I start my day by jolting awake from a weird/anxiety-ridden dream by my energetic black cat, who never lets me sleep past 11:00am. He coos and I instinctively reply with a “hmm” as he jumps on top of me and paws at my face. I fully open my eyes and become reacquainted with reality as he flops onto his side with his back in front of my face, such that I can easily give him his annual morning rub down. I feel slightly annoyed, but simultaneously full of love for him. He at least wakes me up in a nice way. So, I plant kisses on the back of his head and scratch his back, using his purring as a means to fully wake up before I have to take a shower. Whatever it takes to get through the morning, I guess.

I normally skip breakfast since I either don’t have time for it, I’m not hungry for it, or I sleep past it. I’ve been dying to change my irregular eating schedule for years now because it only makes me feel physically worse. I used to eat well/regularly when I played sports, but ever since I quit, I slowly began to no longer care. I really only eat an unhealthy lunch and dinner at weird times now, and it’s become one of those things that I know I need to change, but can’t manage it location-wise and schedule-wise. At this point, it’s whatever it takes to get through the day with some type of nutrients, I guess.

I’ve also been going to work 4-6 hours per week for the past three years now, and I either chat with my coworkers, fight with myself to stay off of YouTube and do my homework, or actually do what I’m there to do when I have appointments – tutor. I love my job, but the amount of students I see have been more or less the same in that they are either the same person coming in multiple times or different students with all of the same issues. Only a few actually want to learn and accept the help, some are only there for extra credit and fight with me on essay issues, and most of them simply want me to do it all for them. After a usual session, making myself laugh with a YouTube video seems more important than anything else for my sanity. Whatever it takes to get through a shift, I guess.

And most classes, in my experience, are manageable and enjoyable, but there’s always those one or two classes per semester that get under your skin to the point where you wish “the Purge”/crime-legalization was actually a thing. You always have that one professor who treats you like you’re still in high school, who constantly threatens to deduct points like you’re in Hogwarts, who refuses to give you a good grade on any of your work (no matter how hard you worked on it), and who forgets that students have other classes too. The only solace in that is going home to your roommate or your other friends, who you can freely complain to. Whatever it takes to make it through unenjoyable classes, I guess.

Finally, when I’m finished for the day, I come back to my room and decide whether I want to eat, watch Netflix/YouTube, clean my dorm, play with my cat, or do homework first. For the past 7 semesters, homework always came first, but for some reason, watching Netflix/YouTube or playing with my cat almost always win out first these days. I still get homework and studying done, sometimes ahead of time, but I have definitely become lazier this semester. I only slightly hate myself for it because I also know that taking those breaks serve me more than they hurt me. Whatever it takes to make it through the day, I guess.

In conclusion, I never thought that I’d yearn for change and be a victim of senioritis since I like routine and I’m always so anxious about everything, but I was wrong. So wrong. It’s a real problem and it’s a bitch to battle against, but it’s also a sign that I’m ready (on some level) to graduate, which gives me comfort.

Whatever it takes to make it through to the next adventure in life, I guess.