rissy stories

Hello!

This is the short response to a prompt that I found. This is my last blog post for my Electronic Publishing Class. Enjoy! 🙂

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A Martian’s Trip To The Beach

Why on Earth do humans think that the tan and leathery look is flattering? I mean, the weather on this planet is bearable compared to Mars, which is always so fucking freezing, but even I know the dangerous side effects of full-blown baking myself in this sunlight. Especially with no clothes on, like, what? Not to mention, the ozone on this planet is depleting rapidly, so it’s even more of a danger! Seriously, I’ve only been on this planet for a couple days or so, but Christ, these humans have proven themselves to be… oh, what’s the word… stupid.

For example, I’m currently watching this little brown-haired female – a tiny human – build up a mound of wet, sloppy sand (I think it’s called a “sand castle”) not far from the ocean, and she’s only wearing what humans call a “one-piece bathing suit.” Now, you can call it all of the fancy names you want, but at the end of the day, it’s just a thin piece of blue cloth only covering her torso. Her arms, legs, neck, shoulders, and entire head are all completely exposed to ultraviolet rays, so she’ll surely be reaping the consequences of that someday… and also, why simply pile sand on top of more sand and call that a fun activity? I truly don’t understand.

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Update: I’ve just learned that humans use “sunscreen” for all of the exposed parts of their bodies, but I have also seen some young adult males and females simply lying on their towels and exposing themselves to the sunlight with no “sunscreen.” And these humans are wearing either “bathing suit shorts” or “bikinis” – making them even more exposed. They just let their skin fry like bacon, but why? What is there to gain? Sunburn? Melanoma? I’m determined to find the answer.

Meanwhile, there are also humans swimming in the mucky, cold ocean waters. Some humans are standing in the wave-breaking zone and letting their young ones get smacked in the face and knocked over by a wave. Some are swimming farther out into the ocean, becoming shark-bait, while others are carrying long boards, saying that they are trying to “catch” one of the larger waves, which I’m also confused about. How does one “catch” liquid? And with a board no less?

Not to mention the wind here is constantly whipping my hair into my face, and it’s starting to get really annoying. Most of these humans on land are blocking out the wind and the sun with enormously large “umbrellas,” and I wish I had one right now. It’s extremely hot, the sand on my feet is making it worse, and I’ve already stepped on three or five sea shells, but I’m not necessarily keen on touching the ocean – it doesn’t look, smell, or taste very good at all.

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I guess I will never understand why herds of humans just willingly go to the “beach” for fun. It’s loud, it’s crowded, it smells weird, it’s extremely hot and cold, there are birds everywhere, and I will never be able to remove all of the sand that has found its way onto my body. Nothing about this experience has sparked my interest, and it just seems like an obvious bad idea from top to bottom. Heed my warning, and never ever go to the “beach” on Earth my fellow Martians.