rissy stories

a free verse, sensual, emblem poem, created by rissystories

Letting Go Of The Long Gone (the poem is supposed to look like a flower with a stem, leaves, and dirt at the bottom, but unfortunately, the format on here won’t let me structure it that way).

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I                       wrap                    my                   arms

Around                his                      neck                        and

Laugh         as         he        carries     me      on     his   back.

He smiles, then sighs, as he has done many times before.

Sincerity is lacking, along with his will to walk out the door.

But  it  is  necessary  to  sway  him  out  of  his  secluded  state,

Free him from the darkness residing within his room and head.

We are having fun under the setting sun, along the bend of a deep

River,  but  then  he  lowers  me  down onto the ground and frowns.

I  should   have   known   that  this  bliss  was  too  good  to  be  true.

This man is a withdrawn  wallflower who only socializes in fantasy

And  he  hates  the   notion   of   devotion to  our   troubled   reality.

Somber,  I   silently oblige   and   walk   with   him   side   by   side,

But  I  don’t  dare  dream  of  walking  with  him  hand-in-hand,

Because  God  forbid   he   ever   slid  into  one  of  my  fantasies.

Holding hands, enjoying company, and love is what I desire,

His version of delusion is to drown in loneliness, and retire.

I   sometimes   wonder   if   he   even   loves  me  anymore.

Unfocused   and   unaware,   I  suddenly  slip  on  a  rock,

And  tumble  into  the  violent   and   turbulent   river.

The strong tide takes me, but my hand raises high,

My heart flutters as his hand firmly grasps mine

Before  I  flounder  and  fly  away with the tide.

But he is wrong to think that he is strong,

And  he  splashes   along   beside   me.

He  sinks  much  faster  than  I  can,

While   still   gripping   my   hand.

But  I  realize that this is reality,

And   not  just  my    fantasy,

For    I    am   sinking   too.

His  weight  pulls  me

Farther under water

He       holds       my

Hand tight, but

This    is    not

My fantasy.

No. His

Clutch

Is

Out

Of

Fear,            not               love.

I               cannot         rise

And          save         both

Of            our         lives.

His     burden    would

Be       our     demise.

So,       I          knew

That     I     needed

To   choose.

Drowning            and                flailing,

A fleeting look in his blue eyes catches mine,

But I see nothing, he’s gone, not there anymore.

I   then   realize   something   that   I   hadn’t   before

And   let   go   of   his  hand  before  I  hit  the  river  floor.

Numbness flows through me and my heart wilts like a flower.

The water swallows him whole, but I rise and ride the tide to shore.

I  lie  flat  on  the  rocks  and watch the sun set on the river’s other side,

Knowing    that     our     love     was     never     truly     meant     to     survive.